macymace: (yuto)
[personal profile] macymace
Title: Parrot
Author: macy
Beta: jan
Pairing: Okamoto Keito x Inoo Shinju ([info]shinju) x Nakajima Yuto, other pairings shinju ships~
Rating: G
Genre: Drama, Romance, Friendship
-had a hard time thinking about how i should go about writing this, so everything will make sense. i hope this is okay. :)))
-thank you for reading till the end! :D
-ps. this will be the last fic i will post here in my own journal. the new ones will be posted directly in our writing comm: [ profile] gwynmacyharpe, but i will still post link here. ^^

Part 9
Shinju's POV

"You look so beautiful, nee-chan." Kanon said as she took a step away from me. She smiled fondly as she looked at me from head to toe. I feel a little embarrassed.

"Thank you." I said and felt a little annoyed that it came out in a very small voice. I don't sound like myself at all. I didn't really expect it, but Umika was right. I realize I am only registering what is happening now, and I'm feeling a little dizzy.

It's my wedding day. Mine and Yuto's. In just a few more minutes, we would be husband and wife.

Someone knocked and opened the door, but only peeked inside.

It was Ryutaro.

"What is it?" Kanon asked.

"Zack is here." Ryutaro said simply, grinning at Kanon.

Kanon let out a soft squeal. "He made it!" She said.

Ryutaro laughed and then nodded.

He then turned to me and gave a smile. "You look lovely." He said formally.

"Thank you." I just say.

I turned to Kanon, "Who's Zack?" I asked, trying to think of other things.

"Nii-chan's best friend." She said, "Well, the other best friend besides Yuri."

Kanon excused herself, saying she'll be back. I just nodded and let her go. She really seems excited to see this person. He must really be important to her nii-chan.

As I hear their footsteps fading, I stood up and made my way to the mirror.

I am surprised at what I see. Is this really me? I could barely recognize myself.

I was wearing a simple gown. A strapless wedding dress with a simple pattern of embroidery. It could pass as just an evening gown, if not for the long train. It was my mother who chose this. It was the first time she did something for me. And with just that fact, I love my dress.

They let my hair down, and curled its end. They didn't put too much make up, to my relief. They just put on a little to emphasize my features.

Around my neck, I'm wearing a silver necklace.

I almost jumped when I hear commotion outside. I turned away from the mirror and direct my eyes to the door, expecting for someone to enter.

When no one did, I took a few steps to the door, curious.

I opened the door a little to peek. I'm sure I heard Yuto's voice earlier.

It really was Yuto. He was talking to someone. Why were they talking here?

"I thought you'd never make it, Zack! What happened to you? You suddenly stopped replying to my mails." Yuto's voice said.


My heart harrumped. I know that voice.

I shook my head. It can't be. I probably heard wrong. It couldn't be him.

"Where were you going, anyway? Why are you here? You looking for the toilet?" Yuto asked.

And then the other person subtly took a step sideways and looked straight at me.

My eyes widen.

It really is him.


I was frozen, unable to comprehend what was happening.

Without turning his eyes away from me, he answered Yuto. "I wanted to meet the bride."

Yuto, seemingly noticing Keito's gaze, turned and saw me as well.

He gave a smile and started pulling Keito towards me.

"Well, there she is. Sayuri." Yuto said.

Keito ignored him, his eyes locked to mine.

When they were right in front of me, Yuto finally noticed something was wrong with me.

"Are you okay, Sayu? Nervous?" He asked.

I didn't reply. I couldn't. I couldn't even look at him. I could only look at Keito.

"This is Zack, by the way. Ah, Sasazaki Keito, actually. But me and Lil just call him Zack." He said.

Keito made a small bow.

"It's nice to see you, Shin." He said.

Yuto looked at him, surprised.

"You know her?" Yuto asked, still with a smile.

Keito still didn't look at him but said, "I'm sorry, Jim."

Then he took a step towards me. He extended his hand towards my face, but didn't touch me and instead went to my necklace, to the pearl ring I wore as a pendant.

He smiled my favorite smile.

"You still have it." He said.

"You…" Yuto said with a gasp, finally realizing what this is about.

Keito then offered his hand to me. I knew at once what he meant. To run away with him.

"Sayu…" Yuto trailed off.

Everything stopped. I didn't know what to do.

They're asking me to choose from them.

"Shinju!" Someone called and I jumped.

It's Niichan. What is he doing here?

And then I saw Keito's hand shook.

I didn't think about it anymore and took it. He gripped it hard and started pulling me. Numbly, I followed him.

Nii-chan came, looking worst for wear, and we halt. His eyes widen at the sight of us.

"Shin!" He made to move forward but Yuto stopped him.

"She chose him." I heard him say in barely a whisper. He has his back turned to me. I don't think I can look at him if he didn’t.

As Keito pulled me and walked faster, the only thing I can see was Yuto's back.

I think people started noticing. It's so noisy, but Keito kept me by his side and guided me. I didn't know where we're going. I couldn't see.

And then I realized it's because I'm crying.

It felt like we've ran for hours. But that couldn't be.

I realized as we slowed to a stop that we were in the old clubhouse.

How ironic, really. It was like déjà vu. Keito closed the door, and I just stood there, not knowing what I'm feeling. Not knowing if I'm feeling even as the tears continue to slid down my face.

I felt my knees gave in and I collapsed by the door. The same way I did when I first met Keito here.

He moved towards me, looking worried. But then I saw his face rather than Keito's. Yuto's face was swimming in front of me.

Yuto. Yuto. Yuto. Yuto. Yuto. Yuto. Yuto.

He was all I could think about.

"Shin…" I heard Keito call.

"I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. I'm really sorry." I started saying without knowing what I meant.

I felt him pull me up and he took me in his arms.

"I've been away for too long. I'm sorry." He said softly. "I'm too late, aren't I?"

I started crying harder. What could I say to him? I didn't want to hurt him.

But it seemed he understood. I felt him kiss my forehead and then ruffled my hair, just like he always did.

"Thank you for coming here with me." He said as he pulled away. His voice sound calm. "You should go back." He said and started walking away from me.

I stood up, intending to follow him. But he spoke again, without looking at me.

"Go, please." He said.


Finally he looked at me, and smiled. "You looked beautiful in that dress." He said, and turned away, never looking back again.

"Thank you." I just said. I know it wasn't enough, but I also I knew I couldn't offer him more. It was all I could do.

I walked out of the clubhouse, not really sure what I should do.

But I know what I want to do. I want to see Yuto.

Trying not to think about anything else, I focused on him. The most important thing right now is to see him, nothing else.

Still in my wedding gown, I took a cab. I felt scared as I saw the building where I was supposed to be wedded.

With all the courage I could muster, I got off the cab and slowly walked inside. There were fewer people now.

I can't focus on that. I chided myself, and started looking for Yuto.

"You-!" Someone suddenly said. My eyes widen as I saw my father walking towards me, looking angrier than I'd ever seen him.

I felt really scared. I didn't know what to do. I stood there, stuck still.

He raised his hands and was about to strike me across my face. I closed my eyes, waiting for the pain, but it didn't came.

"Stop it, father."

I opened my eyes and saw the back of Nii-chan. He stopped my father's hand.

I felt someone pull me back and realize it was Yuri. He stepped forward, also getting in between father and me.

"Y-yuri…" My voice was shaking.

"W-where..?" is he?

"With Kuromi, I think." Yuri said calmly, turning to me and giving me a small smile. Have I been forgiven? Should he even do that? "He took off as soon as you did," He said in a whisper.

And I understood. Yuto did that so it would look like it's not just me. He hoped it would looked like we planned for this. He wants to protect me, still.

I could feel my eyes filling up again. I tug on Yuri's sleeve.

"Keito…" I managed to say. "...he's in the old club house…"

Yuri nodded, understanding at once. "I'll go."

And before anyone could stop us, he took my hand and lead me out again. I was surprised to see the car ready. Ryutaro was driving.

"Hop on, it'll be quicker this way." He told me.

I nodded, very grateful and got on. Yuri watched us go and then I saw him took a cab. I'm so very thankful to all of them. I realized how I've been too focused about myself. Too focused on what I don't have that I took for granted what I do have.

We were in the sports complex quicker than I expected.

Ryutaro stopped the car right in front of the entrance. He turned to me and gave me an encouraging smile. "He might or might not have reverted to his bratty self. But you can handle that so you shouldn't worry." He told me.

I nodded, smiling gratefully. "Thank you."

I got off and entered the building. I followed the direction I could remember from when Yuto took me here. I was scared that I got lost, but then I saw the door and I knew it.

Yuto's in there.

I cautiously turned the knob and quietly opened the door.

He is there. But he has his back on me. He was standing by Kuromi, petting her head. I couldn't see his face.

I took a step forward, and winced when my heels made not really a loud sound, but in the silence it echoes.

Yuto sharply turned and stopped when he saw me.

"Sayu… Shinju." He said.

I took another step forward.

"Why are you here?" He asked, his voice soft. I would have preferred his bratty self, as Ryuu said. This wasn't like him.

Did I made him like this?

"I'm sorry…" I could only say.

He gave me a small sad smile. "It's okay." He said though he doesn't really look okay. "It wasn't as if we wanted it in the first place…" He trailed off and unconsciously, it seems, started petting Kuromi again.

He chuckled. A hollow laugh. He was looking on the floor. "Heaven or hell." He said, and I remembered that argument we have all those months before.

I remember what I told him. "Enjoy hell. That's new."

And he had said, "It's already hell, can't go anywhere down. Amusement wouldn't be bad, though."

"Of course you would choose heaven." He said, his voice sounding softer and softer.

"I've told you..." I started, nervous but determined. "You remind me of him. Of Keito."

He closed his eyes as I mentioned his name and I winced. But I continued.

"As the days pass, I feel more comfortable around you. And I thought it was because you were so much like him. But then I realized it was the other way around…"

He looked at me, confused.

"It wasn't that you remind me of Keito. You remind me of the feelings I felt for Keito." I said, my voice a little shaky. "I see him in you, the one I used to love, because I've fallen in love with you."

I couldn't look at him anymore, so I stared at the floor, but I couldn't stop talking. I needed to get it out. I needed him to know.

"That was how it is at the start. And then we hang out more and more, and I could only see you. I realize now that I was convincing myself then that it was because you're like him. But it actually took effort to think of Keito when you're there. You got me over him." I said in one breath, feeling rushed. My feelings were overwhelming me.

"I didn't want to, because it's what my dad wants, but I fell anyway. I fell for you." I said, and tears started spilling down my face.

"T-that's why I'm here. It's actually funny. It turned out, my heaven was here all along." I finally looked up at him. I jumped, clutching at my heart when I realized he had moved while I saw talking. He was only a foot away from me now.

And bizarrely, because he startled me, he started laughing. And I was there still crying my eyes for him. I irrationally felt angry and stomped towards him intending to at least slap him.

I raised my hand, ready to strike but he caught it before it touched him. He was grinning at me, and I was so irritated I started pulling my hand away.

But he held tight.

"I love you." He said.

And he pulled me and kissed me.


-EXPLANATION OF TITLE (as promised)-

I based this on this song:

This is the lyrics translation, and I based each character's stand there so it's a lot of help in formulating the plot:

I miss you again, like yesterday.
Won't this feeling of missing you, lessen any?
I keep thinking about you.

The more I try to sort through it all, the more the tears come.
Even when I try to steal it, the memories spread into
different memories through the tears that I shed.
It makes me cry so painfully.

All I can do is regret, because all I ever did was receive.
But I'm afraid you'll forget me because I've never gave you anything.


Even if the birdcage that represented you was narrow
I still liked it, I was still happy.
I'm returning to the day, to my dreams
when I believed in a forever without separation

If I could go back I'd gather my heart, I'd take everything
from it and give it you.


My heart..
In the end even if you can't come
and you've changed and I'm not the one for you any longer
I'll call and call out to you again
Like a parrot calling only your name...
Wishing for only your love like this

And the chorus kinda fit all three of them.

I love you, I, I love you
These words have become a habit
and these words are among the many I've learned from you.

I sit around alone mumbling to myself like a fool.
I'm sorry truly, truly, I'm sorry.

I'm even sorry that these words are so late
But I'm waiting here for you shamelessly
Will you by chance come back tomorrow?

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September 2015


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