[FANFIC] 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10
Sep. 2nd, 2011 08:20 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
macymaceTitle: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10
Pairing: Chinen Yuri x Kawashima Umika
Genre: Angst
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
macymacymacy
Rating: G
AN:
-OOC. unbetaed. fail. /shrugs, just the usual...
-forjlru :) inspired by her story, Say I Love You. xD
-
"What is it, Yuri?" Umika asked, smiling at Chinen's back.
They were currently in the rooftop. Chinen had called to Umika.
Chinen turned to her, his eyes solemn.
Suddenly, Umika felt like walking away. Chinen's expression... it scared her.
"I... Umi-chan, I think we should break up." He said, looking straight at her.
Umika didn't reply, shocked. Just earlier they were acting like they always did. Like nothing was wrong. But all along...
She really hadn't seen this coming. She had missed Chii, they hadn't seen each other for months. She was looking forward to coming back to school after their summer vacation.
"I just thought that... well, this. Us. It's risky for the both of us... And from what happened last June... It's a very important time for JUMP. And I... it would be very unfair for you if I am hesitating about our relationship like this. I... I don't want to do things half-heartedly. And I don't want to hurt you more in the future." Chinen explained. It was the first time for Umika to see him so unsure like this.
Still, she didn't speak.
"Umi-chan...?" Chinen called to her, nervously.
Umika snapped out of her trance, though she felt numb.
"I... I understand. I-It was risky from the beginning. I understand your place." She trailed off nodding slowly.
"I'm so sorry." Chinen said, bowing low.
"You don't have to be." Umika said hastily.
They were silent for a while.
"I..." Umika started. "Yur-- ano, Chinen-kun," Chinen looked at her. This made Umika stopped.
"Uhm, I... Mirai-chan might be wondering where I've gone to. I... I'll go now." She said instead and she rushed away from Chii.
Just as she went, she heard it again.
"I'm so sorry."
One heartbreak
-
Umika understands.
It was very logical. It was just like Yuri to be practical like that.
She knew it was for the both of them. She had always opened the possibility that they might break up.
She understands perfectly, but still, this doesn't stop it from being painful.
This doesn't stop her from hurting.
Umika had walked pass their classroom, going straight to the infirmary instead.
"I'm not feeling well." She told their school doctor. It wasn't a lie. She felt hurt everywhere.
The school doctor took one look at her and nodded, leading her to one of the beds.
"Lie and take a rest. I'll notifiy your sensei." She said simply.
Umika nodded gratefully.
Umika listened as the doctor shuffled through the infirmary and then walk out the room, surely to go to her sensei.
As the door closed, she let it all out.
She couldn't hold it in anymore.
She cried.
Two eyes crying
-
After that day, they act as normally as they do.
But that was the word.
They act. They pretend that everything was okay.
Even though it was as if Umika's world were crumbling down.
They still ate together with their friends. They still laugh together. They still hang out with each other.
But everything was an act.
I can hide the pain that I feel and make others think that I can move on but I can never deny the truth that the person who failed and hurt me is still the person I want to love me.
Umika's feelings for Yuri never changed.
He was always going to be special for her.
She saw this as a good thing.
It was good to have feelings like that, even if Yuri doesn't feel the same way anymore.
But it was rather sad that she couldn't say it, or hear it from him again.
Three words never said again
-
Umika couldn't believe her luck.
It was their field trip. It was a trek by the mountain foot.
And now she was lost.
And with Chinen, of all people.
It was very awkward.
They were both silent, and there was a weird atmosphere around them.
Well, Umika still hasn't moved on.
And maybe Chinen knew that.
With Umika deep in thought, she hadn't notice she had stepped through a twig.
There was a loud thump as she dropped to the floor.
Chinen rushed to her in alarm.
"Are you okay?"
Umika couldn't helped but laughed at her clumsiness. "Hai. I'm fine." she said. It didn't really hurt, as she had landed to soft soil.
Chinen smiled in relief and it was as if the tension was easing up.
Chinen made to raise his hand to help her up, but it stopped halfway through.
Umika had seen from his eyes that he was hesitating.
Getting the hint, Umika had stood up by herself and dusted herself off.
"I'm fine, I'm fine." she had said to cover for the awkward moment.
Chinen nodded in ascent.
"Well, let's get going then. We need to find them before it gets dark." Chinen said.
"Hai, lead the way." Umika said cheerfully.
Chinen smiled at her again and then turned away, resuming his search for their other classmates.
As he did so, Umika looked at her hands.
Strangely, they felt cold.
Four hands that won't be held
-
"Ohayou..." Umika said as she passed Chinen.
It always takes courage for her to utter that word to Chinen every morning.
"Ohayou." Chinen said casually.
Umika felt a twinge at this.
How she envied Chinen.
He had already moved on.
He was back at being her friend.
Something Umika was surprised that she didn't want.
She envied him, yes.
She was thankful for her feelings.
But this pain. She didn't want it anymore.
Five mornings you'll pass in the halls
-
It was their last day of classes in Horikoshi.
They were finally graduating.
It felt surreal for Umika.
With a melancholy feeling, she had emptied her locker.
She was surprised to find some memorable things there.
Some notes Mirai and her had passed along during class...
Song lyrics of the song Umika had helped Chielu wrote...
Papers with scribbles and drawings...
Even their contract of going to the beach. They had made this because their plans of going in an outing was always hindered with works and other appointments.
'We hereby pledge that we will be going to Okinawa on our last summer as high school.' was written in there.
And below there were signatures of all the girls in their class.
Umika giggled at this and placed their 'contract' in an envelope together with the other notes. She would be keeping these for memories' sake.
And then she saw those too.
Love notes from Chinen.
Love notes that held promises.
Broken promises.
Umika hadn't realized what she had done until the pieces fell by her feet.
She had ripped each of those notes.
With a jolt, she had picked them up.
She didn't want to be like that. She didn't want to act bitter. She was so happy when she received them.
But... they hurt her now.
I still love you but I just don't want to care anymore.
Six love notes, ripped & torn
-
They had already graduated.
They had already said goodbye to Horikoshi.
Said goodbye to their life as students.
But Umika couldn't say goodbye to her feelings, still.
She couldn't say goodbye to Chii.
Even though clearly, he had already did so.
She was already left out.
But everyday, even if Umika tries not to, there would be a time that she would think about him.
There was so many things that reminds her of him.
It was as if when they started going out, they had locked themselves into a closed room where there was only the two of them.
And now that they had gone out the room, Umika didn't know what to do anymore.
Seven days a week you'll think of him
-
Umika had found a way to cope with her still restless heart.
Now she depends on music.
It soothes her, somehow.
So whenever she can, she listens to them.
Whenever she was alone, she'd distract herself with music.
She wasn't sure if this was a good thing.
The music doesn't really distract her from Chinen, only from the pain.
On the contrary, the music always reminds her of him.
But she'd only be reminded of their happy moments.
She thinks she might finally be moving on.
She was slowly accepting it. She should have done so a long time ago, but it does take a while to heal a heart.
Eight sad songs a night before bed
-
She was surprised when she realized who it was with her in the elevator.
Her eyes widen.
"Chinen-kun!" She had said, cheerfully. She was very pleased to see him.
"Umika-chan!" Chinen said, equally surprised.
There was a comfortable silence as they stared at each other.
And suddenly, Umika couldn't help but laugh.
And after awhile, Chinen had joined her in laughing.
"Gosh, I haven't seen you for ages!" Umika said, grinning.
"Yeah..." Chinen said. "How are you?" He asked.
"I'm well." Umika said conversationally. "You? Wow, you've grown taller!"
They had chatted away. Just a few minutes of casual talk as they wait for their floor.
Sometimes laughing isn't something you do for fun... but a relief when you miss someone.
Nine months of not seeing each other
-
Umika was positive she had finally moved on.
It had already been so long.
It would be ridicoulous if she still hasn't moved on from him.
But as she saw him with another girl, she had felt that pang again.
It was as if she was back there in the rooftop. It was as if Chinen was breaking up with her all over again.
Umika did not wish to meet them.
She wouldn't know how to act.
So, subtly, she had turned the other direction and started walking away.
But, too late.
"Umika-chan?" Chinen had called out to her.
She didn't have a choice but turned back.
"Chinen-kun..." She called sofly.
Chinen had made his way towards her, with Fukuda Kanon at his heels.
"I haven't seen you for ages!" Chinen said, excitedly.
"Yes, it's been long." Umika said, smiling, though her heart was breaking. It hadn't escaped her notice that Chinen was holding Fukuda's hand in his.
"By the way, Fukuda Kanon." Chinen introduced. "Kanyon, Kawashima Umika."
Fukuda had smiled at her, and she had tried to return it.
She couldn't take it anymore.
"Chinen-kun, uhm, I'm running a bit late. Is it okay if I excused myself?" She said hastily.
"Oh," Chinen said, looking disappointed. "Okay... then... I'll see you."
Umika just nodded and swiftly walked away, not turning back to them.
It hurts when you see the one you love with someone else.
Kanon smiled at Chinen as Umika left.
Chinen was following her with his eyes.
"Why don't you go after her?" She said.
"Eh?"
Kanon giggled and said, "You, Chinen Yuri, is in love with Kawashima Umika."
Chinen blushed.
Kanon continued. "You were using me earlier to see if she would be jealous. And you were disappointed that it was as if she didn't care that you were holding my hand."
Chinen pouted at Kanon.
"Am I that easy to read?" He said.
"Yes." Kanon shrugged. "Well, Ryuu's easier to read." She allowed. "Go after her, baka. I can go and search for Ryuu's gift myself." Kanon said pushing Chinen towards where Umika went.
Ginning, Chinen said. "Thanks, Kanon. I owe you one."
...what you don't know is that when you turn around, he looked your way and wished that you were even just a bit jealous.
"Umika-chan!" Chinen called, running after him.
Umika stopped and looked around, surprised.
"Umika-chan!" He called again as he ran to her.
He stopped in front of her, panting.
"Chinen-kun?"
"Umika-chan, I..."
Ten years and then he'll realize that it has always been you.
Thanks for reading!
Pairing: Chinen Yuri x Kawashima Umika
Genre: Angst
Author:
macymacymacy Rating: G
AN:
-OOC. unbetaed. fail. /shrugs, just the usual...
-for
jlru :) inspired by her story, Say I Love You. xD-
"What is it, Yuri?" Umika asked, smiling at Chinen's back.
They were currently in the rooftop. Chinen had called to Umika.
Chinen turned to her, his eyes solemn.
Suddenly, Umika felt like walking away. Chinen's expression... it scared her.
"I... Umi-chan, I think we should break up." He said, looking straight at her.
Umika didn't reply, shocked. Just earlier they were acting like they always did. Like nothing was wrong. But all along...
She really hadn't seen this coming. She had missed Chii, they hadn't seen each other for months. She was looking forward to coming back to school after their summer vacation.
"I just thought that... well, this. Us. It's risky for the both of us... And from what happened last June... It's a very important time for JUMP. And I... it would be very unfair for you if I am hesitating about our relationship like this. I... I don't want to do things half-heartedly. And I don't want to hurt you more in the future." Chinen explained. It was the first time for Umika to see him so unsure like this.
Still, she didn't speak.
"Umi-chan...?" Chinen called to her, nervously.
Umika snapped out of her trance, though she felt numb.
"I... I understand. I-It was risky from the beginning. I understand your place." She trailed off nodding slowly.
"I'm so sorry." Chinen said, bowing low.
"You don't have to be." Umika said hastily.
They were silent for a while.
"I..." Umika started. "Yur-- ano, Chinen-kun," Chinen looked at her. This made Umika stopped.
"Uhm, I... Mirai-chan might be wondering where I've gone to. I... I'll go now." She said instead and she rushed away from Chii.
Just as she went, she heard it again.
"I'm so sorry."
One heartbreak
-
Umika understands.
It was very logical. It was just like Yuri to be practical like that.
She knew it was for the both of them. She had always opened the possibility that they might break up.
She understands perfectly, but still, this doesn't stop it from being painful.
This doesn't stop her from hurting.
Umika had walked pass their classroom, going straight to the infirmary instead.
"I'm not feeling well." She told their school doctor. It wasn't a lie. She felt hurt everywhere.
The school doctor took one look at her and nodded, leading her to one of the beds.
"Lie and take a rest. I'll notifiy your sensei." She said simply.
Umika nodded gratefully.
Umika listened as the doctor shuffled through the infirmary and then walk out the room, surely to go to her sensei.
As the door closed, she let it all out.
She couldn't hold it in anymore.
She cried.
Two eyes crying
-
After that day, they act as normally as they do.
But that was the word.
They act. They pretend that everything was okay.
Even though it was as if Umika's world were crumbling down.
They still ate together with their friends. They still laugh together. They still hang out with each other.
But everything was an act.
I can hide the pain that I feel and make others think that I can move on but I can never deny the truth that the person who failed and hurt me is still the person I want to love me.
Umika's feelings for Yuri never changed.
He was always going to be special for her.
She saw this as a good thing.
It was good to have feelings like that, even if Yuri doesn't feel the same way anymore.
But it was rather sad that she couldn't say it, or hear it from him again.
Three words never said again
-
Umika couldn't believe her luck.
It was their field trip. It was a trek by the mountain foot.
And now she was lost.
And with Chinen, of all people.
It was very awkward.
They were both silent, and there was a weird atmosphere around them.
Well, Umika still hasn't moved on.
And maybe Chinen knew that.
With Umika deep in thought, she hadn't notice she had stepped through a twig.
There was a loud thump as she dropped to the floor.
Chinen rushed to her in alarm.
"Are you okay?"
Umika couldn't helped but laughed at her clumsiness. "Hai. I'm fine." she said. It didn't really hurt, as she had landed to soft soil.
Chinen smiled in relief and it was as if the tension was easing up.
Chinen made to raise his hand to help her up, but it stopped halfway through.
Umika had seen from his eyes that he was hesitating.
Getting the hint, Umika had stood up by herself and dusted herself off.
"I'm fine, I'm fine." she had said to cover for the awkward moment.
Chinen nodded in ascent.
"Well, let's get going then. We need to find them before it gets dark." Chinen said.
"Hai, lead the way." Umika said cheerfully.
Chinen smiled at her again and then turned away, resuming his search for their other classmates.
As he did so, Umika looked at her hands.
Strangely, they felt cold.
Four hands that won't be held
-
"Ohayou..." Umika said as she passed Chinen.
It always takes courage for her to utter that word to Chinen every morning.
"Ohayou." Chinen said casually.
Umika felt a twinge at this.
How she envied Chinen.
He had already moved on.
He was back at being her friend.
Something Umika was surprised that she didn't want.
She envied him, yes.
She was thankful for her feelings.
But this pain. She didn't want it anymore.
Five mornings you'll pass in the halls
-
It was their last day of classes in Horikoshi.
They were finally graduating.
It felt surreal for Umika.
With a melancholy feeling, she had emptied her locker.
She was surprised to find some memorable things there.
Some notes Mirai and her had passed along during class...
Song lyrics of the song Umika had helped Chielu wrote...
Papers with scribbles and drawings...
Even their contract of going to the beach. They had made this because their plans of going in an outing was always hindered with works and other appointments.
'We hereby pledge that we will be going to Okinawa on our last summer as high school.' was written in there.
And below there were signatures of all the girls in their class.
Umika giggled at this and placed their 'contract' in an envelope together with the other notes. She would be keeping these for memories' sake.
And then she saw those too.
Love notes from Chinen.
Love notes that held promises.
Broken promises.
Umika hadn't realized what she had done until the pieces fell by her feet.
She had ripped each of those notes.
With a jolt, she had picked them up.
She didn't want to be like that. She didn't want to act bitter. She was so happy when she received them.
But... they hurt her now.
I still love you but I just don't want to care anymore.
Six love notes, ripped & torn
-
They had already graduated.
They had already said goodbye to Horikoshi.
Said goodbye to their life as students.
But Umika couldn't say goodbye to her feelings, still.
She couldn't say goodbye to Chii.
Even though clearly, he had already did so.
She was already left out.
But everyday, even if Umika tries not to, there would be a time that she would think about him.
There was so many things that reminds her of him.
It was as if when they started going out, they had locked themselves into a closed room where there was only the two of them.
And now that they had gone out the room, Umika didn't know what to do anymore.
Seven days a week you'll think of him
-
Umika had found a way to cope with her still restless heart.
Now she depends on music.
It soothes her, somehow.
So whenever she can, she listens to them.
Whenever she was alone, she'd distract herself with music.
She wasn't sure if this was a good thing.
The music doesn't really distract her from Chinen, only from the pain.
On the contrary, the music always reminds her of him.
But she'd only be reminded of their happy moments.
She thinks she might finally be moving on.
She was slowly accepting it. She should have done so a long time ago, but it does take a while to heal a heart.
Eight sad songs a night before bed
-
She was surprised when she realized who it was with her in the elevator.
Her eyes widen.
"Chinen-kun!" She had said, cheerfully. She was very pleased to see him.
"Umika-chan!" Chinen said, equally surprised.
There was a comfortable silence as they stared at each other.
And suddenly, Umika couldn't help but laugh.
And after awhile, Chinen had joined her in laughing.
"Gosh, I haven't seen you for ages!" Umika said, grinning.
"Yeah..." Chinen said. "How are you?" He asked.
"I'm well." Umika said conversationally. "You? Wow, you've grown taller!"
They had chatted away. Just a few minutes of casual talk as they wait for their floor.
Sometimes laughing isn't something you do for fun... but a relief when you miss someone.
Nine months of not seeing each other
-
Umika was positive she had finally moved on.
It had already been so long.
It would be ridicoulous if she still hasn't moved on from him.
But as she saw him with another girl, she had felt that pang again.
It was as if she was back there in the rooftop. It was as if Chinen was breaking up with her all over again.
Umika did not wish to meet them.
She wouldn't know how to act.
So, subtly, she had turned the other direction and started walking away.
But, too late.
"Umika-chan?" Chinen had called out to her.
She didn't have a choice but turned back.
"Chinen-kun..." She called sofly.
Chinen had made his way towards her, with Fukuda Kanon at his heels.
"I haven't seen you for ages!" Chinen said, excitedly.
"Yes, it's been long." Umika said, smiling, though her heart was breaking. It hadn't escaped her notice that Chinen was holding Fukuda's hand in his.
"By the way, Fukuda Kanon." Chinen introduced. "Kanyon, Kawashima Umika."
Fukuda had smiled at her, and she had tried to return it.
She couldn't take it anymore.
"Chinen-kun, uhm, I'm running a bit late. Is it okay if I excused myself?" She said hastily.
"Oh," Chinen said, looking disappointed. "Okay... then... I'll see you."
Umika just nodded and swiftly walked away, not turning back to them.
It hurts when you see the one you love with someone else.
Kanon smiled at Chinen as Umika left.
Chinen was following her with his eyes.
"Why don't you go after her?" She said.
"Eh?"
Kanon giggled and said, "You, Chinen Yuri, is in love with Kawashima Umika."
Chinen blushed.
Kanon continued. "You were using me earlier to see if she would be jealous. And you were disappointed that it was as if she didn't care that you were holding my hand."
Chinen pouted at Kanon.
"Am I that easy to read?" He said.
"Yes." Kanon shrugged. "Well, Ryuu's easier to read." She allowed. "Go after her, baka. I can go and search for Ryuu's gift myself." Kanon said pushing Chinen towards where Umika went.
Ginning, Chinen said. "Thanks, Kanon. I owe you one."
...what you don't know is that when you turn around, he looked your way and wished that you were even just a bit jealous.
"Umika-chan!" Chinen called, running after him.
Umika stopped and looked around, surprised.
"Umika-chan!" He called again as he ran to her.
He stopped in front of her, panting.
"Chinen-kun?"
"Umika-chan, I..."
Ten years and then he'll realize that it has always been you.
Thanks for reading!
